The Lord of Shadow and Below

The Lord of Shadow and Below

My Life At School: The Grand Shit Show

My father was a priest and was constantly searching for his own church and his own way so we moved around a lot. I started out 1st and 2nd level Primary, then 1st and 2nd grade at a Christian Episcopal prep school in Oklahoma City, OK. 

I know you're really too young to make judgements like this, but I was very popular as a kid at that school. Endless friends, crushes on girls maybe a little too early for that (though I never did have a "girlfriend" back then.) 

Moving from Oklahoma City--- 

----short but necessary interruption: people are so freaking dumb and ignorant, OKc has one of the highest populations in the country, it's in the top twenty... now think about this, there are approximately 19,405 cities in the U.S. and OKc is in the top 20. So pull your head out of your ass, we don't have teepees. . . I could go on...) ----

---so we pulled out of the big city and moved to the city of my birth, second largest in the state, Tulsa Oklahoma. It was culture shock going to a public school with hundreds of kids where you could quickly be swallowed up by anonymity. It was the opposite at that small prep school. Everyone knew everyone. I found out very quickly that you couldn't just walk in and become the popular kid. I didn't know how to adapt, I'd never had to do it before. People began to dismiss me as "weird," a description I would carry for the rest of my life. 

On that first move I was very rapidly tossed down the rungs of the social ladder until I was at the very bottom, in the dirt, and had almost no friends except a few very cool ones who lived in my neighborhood. 

(as an aside: my school was directly, like a few steps, across the street from my house. It was exceedingly strange. But one benefit I had was that I just had to cross the dead end road to have access to the playground, the cent of which was one of those big wooden forts with sand at the base called a "Big Toy." I had the coolest time playing Star Wars figures there with the entire place to myself. A had recently been gifted a action figure sized Millennium Falcon which made it all the more cool [and a little prescient considering the "final" film of the actual factual "trilogy" began on Luke's home world, the dessert Tatooine (reminder, the big toy was on a big sand box.)]

Any way, back to my shit show life (great name for a tv show) I learned pretty quickly, through changing schools about every few years, that people hated the class brain, and the teachers pet. So, I became the class clown, the comedian, embraced the "weirdo" way. In doing impersonations and acting out movie (or cartoon for the best laughs) scenes. 

This got me a free pass from the bullies. They could yell at one kid down the hall, "meet me after school on the playground, I'm gonna kick your ass." And then turn around to me, "oh, Philip, do that British accent."

So, my advanced IQ and my natural ability to do well in all subjects became buried. I did poorly at schoolwork on purpose. A feat easily done by just not studying for tests, and not doing homework. And who would ever think the class clown was a genius? And this became so ingrained in my personality I couldn't shake it, even at college. I skated through classes (with the great exception for Literature and Art), faking my way along. 

I was shocked and really really pissed off that we had to take "electives" (I didn't elect these wastes of time!) which were basically reruns of high school. I went there to learn how to be a writer, not be a "Renaissance" man who could master Biology and Physics and Sociology along the way. Fuck all that!

It wasn't until my four semesters at the Masters level in the Creative Studies Department of the Liberal Arts college that I finally was doing what I wanted to be doing in every single class after 5 years of fucking about as an undergrad (oh, failed to mention, I ended up with a B.A. in English Literature and Criticism, and a stupidly "undeclared" minor in Art and Design (the head of the Graphic Design "wing" asked me to switch from English Lit to Graphic Design. He told me I had the right kind of mind for it, as well as the artistic chops. But I was set on becoming a writer. I wished I could be both.

So, back to Masters school: this was what I had imagined college was. It was unfortunate, and quite expensive, to fart around as an undergrad drowning in classes I despised. Here I was right were I belonged, class after class of perfecting my writing skills. 

(They'll tell you, and should tell you, in both Liberal Arts and in the Art Program, that you can't have "talent" taught to you, no matter how many classes you attend or how hard you try. Talent for a subject (or subjects) is something you're born with. You go to school to "perfect" your talent, to "sharpen" it. But by no means can anyone "teach you a talent."

Apparently the Art School had waded out into some deep waters by allowing people who didn't have any of these talents they so wanted to have, graduate with a degree. Graduates were coming back to the school to complain that they were unable to find any work based on their submissions and portfolio. They were being told, quite frankly by many prospects, that they just didn't have the raw talent necessary for the job. Not even an Art teacher at an Elementary school! You actually do have to be an artist to land that job... at most schools (sometimes they randomly shuffle someone like one of the sports coaches to fall in and teach out of a text book. Thankfully I always had wonderful art teachers who were actual artists and encouraged me on my own artistic path.) 

So, starting fairly early into my weird journey through the Art School I was running in to classmates who had been counseled to leave the Art School ("you're just not working out as an Artist, and we can't give you a degree just because you attend all the classes. We believe its in your best interests to feel around and find something else that you have a talent for.")

(shh... so we don't get sued by people we handed a degree but without the ability to land a job or otherwise use said degree.)

I counted myself lucky in both "schools" that Liberal Arts wanted me to remain in Liberal Arts, and that Art and Design wanted me to leave Liberal Arts for Art and Design (specifically Graphic Design.) It was a nice ego boost, but also, for a time, very very confusing.

Flash forward to Grad School: things, everything, went into the shitter by the end of the 90's and I never recovered. 

When I returned to Oklahoma City from living with my parents in little (but cool as hell) Muskogee Oklahaoma (birthplace of my father, and location of his last and favorite church, overwhich he was the Priest, Grace Episcopal Church. I've lost my self again, oh, I went back to Oklahoma City to finish out my Masters... ... and fuck all, they refused to give me anymore student loans. I only needed ONE more semester for my Masters in Creative Studies. But even after an appeal with notes from teachers I was told no. There was no way for me to pay for it myself. After going straight from Highschool in to College as an Undergrad and then into Grad school I had never actually had a "real" job, i.e. one that you could live on. Much less make enough money to also pay for Grad school!

After moving to Muskogee, Oklahoma, then back to Oklahoma City, then back to Muskogee again, I finally moved down to Austin, Texas on my way to L.A. (to be a professional writer, of course.)

I never made it to LA, but the unofficial town slogan of Austin is "Keep It Weird" so I figured it was a sign from the gods that this would be my knew home (and perhaps final home, at the rate I'm going). 

I finally found out why I was so eccentric, weird, and sometimes had brief, and not so brief, psychotic episodes growing up, when I was eventually diagnosed with "Bipolar 1" AND "Extreme Panic Attacks" (which often had a crippling "Agoraphobia" just to add some spice to the panic) and all the medication I take (six kinds) sucked all my creative energy dry: several unfinished screenplays, a novel only just over half finished, art work abandoned, and the biggest casualty for me, my music has remained untouched for about 15 years now.

Oh, growing up, I did have great parent's who truly loved me, showed it, and told me so. Typical older siblings who only mildly, as per usual "bullied" the baby of the household, but always came together as, not too too close, but descent friends. I developed my own group of friends in middle and high school when we'd settled back in OKC even though I changed schools "four" friggin times by the time I graduated high school in 1990. We were all the outcasts at school which brought us closer together than the constant power struggle among the popular kids. 

But flash forward to 53 years old and I've become imprisoned by my own mind and the meds it requires to keep me sane (you know, that thing necessary to hold a job, pay rent and bills and food and clothes and housewares) I've worked at a "big box" store for nearly 25 years, stoned out of my gourd every day on 6 different medications. No friends, no girlfriends, it's all just blech! One big Shit Show. And now really really stuck in a hole in terms of finances. 

Father died of Alzheimer's and now my mother is batshit crazy from Dementia (she's 81). Oldest brother died of alcohol poisoning after a life of severe drug and alcohol abuse. 

I have my older sister and brother still around, but they're 9 hours north in Oklahoma City with complicate lives of their own (my sister basically takes care of my mother. I don't know how she does it but she's a freaking SAINT!) 

I am woe. Woe is me?

"I feel-ah so break up, I wanna go home." --Dr. Emilio Lizardo from "Buckaroo Banzai" (a movie full of weirdos like me! hehe.)

After the end credits bonus scene: 

I've always been an abnormally fixated movie buff. One thing I tried to do for a long time was find a character in a movie who was the most like myself in real life. It was to be a kind of Intro To Me and my Behavior class for a weirdo class clown geniuses who have a talent for Art AND Literature.

Oh there were scores of characters I wished were me. Some of whom came pretty close (Luke Skywalker. I know thousands of people "want desperately" to be like Luke Skywalker, but study his personality, his weaknesses, his talents, that's pretty close to me. And when all is said and done, actually not someone you'd really actually want to be. He was an inexperienced farm boy who suddenly had to become this Messiah who would destroy the Empire and set the galaxy back on the "good side of the force." [and restore the great Temple? Oh, no, that's the Jewish Messiah.] See also: Paul Atreides for an almost "specific" allegory to the Jewish Messiah.) 

Much later on, in a galaxy far far fucking far away, Harry Potter and I shared some very similar circumstances. I was the school Chaplain's son, aka Father Berry's son. And I constantly heard, "oh, you're Father Berry's son. We expect great things from you." And (this is when I came back to the prep school after 5 years away) I was also bullied like Potter was. If you've seen the first Harry Potter then you know exactly what I mean.

But I finally found my doppelganger in the title character Martin in the somewhat obscure George A. Romero "unconventional" Vampire pic, "Martin." I was like, holy shit, that's me on the screen. Fat lot of good it did me though. I mean, watch the end of the movie to get some idea of how his quiet isolated self ended up.

(And, as with "Bladerunner," there's a kind of argument as to whether Martin really actually was a vampire, or was he just mentally ill. Romero thinks mentally ill. --I say "fuck that shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon." Okay, that was from "Blue Velvet"-- I believe Martin really was a vampire. I think the black an white flashback scenes of Martin, looking exactly as young now at 84 as he did then at 16, and the fact that his cousin, Tata Cuda, appears as an equally young man in the flashbacks, but, unlike Martin, he's now a very old grey haired man.

Fuck Romero (ha! not really,) the man has had, not as much as, but and on a smaller scale, a similar amount of an influence on the genre of horror cinema (and it's subtle allegory, lost on most casual viewers) where was I? Oh, Romero has had as much influence on the smaller scale horror genre as George Lucas with large scale space operas and how to make a good movie overall. (don't hang me over that statement. Its true to a reasonable degree.) 

I'll end today's sermon with a quote from Jeffery Goines, played by Brad Pitt, in the criminally underrated "12 Monkeys:"

"Fuck the bozos!"

Theme for the Book "The Sound of Silence" Titled "Matt's Theme"

 https://youtube.com/shorts/8aAseU9b8HI?feature=share

An attempt at creating a theme song for my unfinished novel "The Sound of Silence" the song is titled "Matt's Theme."

Enjoy (or not)

Solice In Silence for the Non Normals and the Austic and Jetta

 https://youtu.be/X2_dGJcV6Q0?si=-HOmwkL7DxJAAEsn

feedback test loop: Main YouTube Page

 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAxJ9q-7ACcqHYqO76pvCiA

The cult of the right hand, en masse.

The cult of the right hand, en masse.

They must have cast iron stomachs, because all the cool aid was drunk during the last version of this shit show, and there's no more left. They may have moved on to other means of dispatch to prove their devotion to their cult leader, and yet they seem to be immune to that as well. 

I'm beginning to think they didn't actually drink the cool aide at all but rather dumped it out when no one was looking. And whatever new suicidal means of proof of loyalty is being used (perhaps a hidden capsule in the mouth) they have found a way to spit that out when no one's looking as well.

So, the old king has no clothes on, and they cheer him still. 

How anyone could be so "accidentally " stupid as to not understand what a tariff is and how it "always" works and then proceed, after warnings, to destroy the U.S. and the World economies . . . that takes a very special kind of stupid, maybe the most special in the history of presidents, to go forward into heavy weather while ignoring all the weather reporters and meteorologists. Then getting sucked up into a tornado, spit back down in a different state, and then everyone who has plainly seen this superhero level stupidity just ignores it, and, like the followers of Tommy in the titular rock opera; 

"Welcome to the camp
I guess you all know why we're here
My name is Tommy and I became aware this year
If you want to follow me
You've got to play pinball
And put in your earplugs
Put on your eye shades
You know where to put the cork"

But there's never a moment where the cult of the orange man comes to their senses and yells [or sings] 

"We're not gonna take it, never did and never will.
Don't want no religion, as far as we can tell. 

We ain't gonna take you, never did and never will.
We're not gonna take you, we forsake you, 

gonna rape you,
Let's forget you better still."
(not so sure about the "rape you" part, kind of out of place.)

As I said, they never sing that part. 

They never reach that level of intellect and understanding. 

They're all too happy to oblige the jester king.

That part's only sung by the left hand. The hand that actually knows what the right hand is doing.

Every dog will have its day, but its 15 minutes of fame has been stretched out to years of pure unbridled evil.

Human beings have been on Earth for roughly 550,000 to 750,000.

"Are we, are we, are we ourselves." -- The Fixx

Human beings have been on Earth for roughly 550,000 to 750,000. 

If you are non-pulsed by this, count to ten and time it. Hmm... not so bad. Count to 100, time it. That's a lot harder. Now, increase that time to 1,000.000, its an overshot, but still shows the drama. Suddenly you discover it takes about 11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds. Think about how you're at work for 9 hours, 8 hours working with an hour for lunch. Then think of time off after work, 8 hours of sleep, getting up getting ready and going back to work, 24 hours in a day, 48 hours in 2 days... 11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds. It'd be like a marathon after a marathon, and so on.

Now imagine how many days week years decades centuries, millennia that we've been here. Though there is no proof, and it still hovers in the realm of "conspiracy theory" there could EASILY have been SEVERAL very complex civilizations that are so old any trace of them was wiped away by sun heat rain rust. If we can find a Pharaoh's tomb over 2000 years after it was put there, we think, "damn, that's a long time." But within the realm of 550,000 to 750,000 years, that's a mere blink of an eye.

I don't think it's likely that "extra-terrestrial" aliens have ever been to earth, but I do find it possible that ancient but far advanced civilizations of humans rose and fell, perhaps many times over. And perhaps some are still around.

Therefore, it is my opinion, that if they did find structures, buildings, cities, and UFO's checking them out; well, that's explained in my private pseudo-scientific philosophy (or mythology) by an advanced human race living under the oceans, or up on the moon.  

I don't believe in aliens, I mean to say, I'm certain that there are advanced forms of life in this giant universe, I just think its pretty much impossible for them to have developed the way we did and then built interstellar ships, and then found earth.. I don't believe in time travel (you'd mess up the current timestream so bad just by taking up airspace and breathing in it.) no Big Foot, Loch Ness Monster, Mothman, giant spiders, Chupacabra,  vampires (wouldn't that be cool), zombies (I hate the whole zombie thing, never got it. Watched tons of movies with lots of Italian films, just bored the crap out of me.)

Ghosts? Maybe. We have tons of data on ghosts, sound, video, etc.

Ah well, I've run out of steam.

End of line.....

CLIVE BARKER'S 

NIGHTBREED

based on his novella CABAL

MOVIE TRAILER 

(THIS LINK BRINGS YOU TO YOUTUBE)

https://youtu.be/gKXnT8FVleY?si=940ERsfZCxAuNPaH

The resurrection of the dead. In the legendary city of the dead, Midian.

(soon to be an online streaming series by Clive Barker Himself!)

Before his execution, before Easter.

 "My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you make it a den of robbers." 

Jesus of Nasrath, Jesus the Galilean, Yeshua 

(Matthew 21:13, ESV)

From a Bing Search:

Yeshua is the Hebrew name for Jesus, meaning "Yahweh [the Lord] is Salvation". In the New Testament, written in Greek, the name Yeshua becomes Iēsous, which is translated to “Jesus” in English. The name Yeshua occurs throughout the Old Testament and is usually translated as Joshua. Most scholars believe that Jesus’ real name was actually “Yeshua”.

The world's a hell what does it matter what happens in it?

The world's a hell what does it matter what happens in it?

The world's a hell what does it matter what happens in it?

The world's a hell what does it matter what happens in it?

Anál nathrach, orth’ bháis’s bethad, do chél dénmha.

 

"Anál nathrach, orth’ bháis’s bethad, do chél dénmha."

[Serpent's breath, charm of death and life, thy omen of making.]

--Merlin

Self pity and mental illness, two great tastes in one candy bar.

Some people say this sounds like a big bummer, but I believe in life there are so many good & bad things that the best way is to find how you can be "content" with yourself and your life. To do otherwise is like gambling, that next card could put you at 20, or it might 'f' up your day, or year, or longer, losing your life's savings. 

On the flipside you could just sit on your couch and play video games, the ones where you don't have a live team of people to talk to, just yourself and the games. And never try to do anything above just "existing."

That's been me for a while now, due to a double whammy of Bipolar 1 and Extreme Panic Disorder. And the shame of it is that it's really the medicine that put the brakes on my creativity: the art & writing I studied in college, the music I taught myself to compose, all that's in storage somewhere in my head. 

The drugs keep me employed, housed, fed . . . If it weren't for the drugs, I'd probably be homeless by now cause in my manic swings, where how long they lasted was a completely unknown period of time (hours? days? weeks? months?) I had some delusions in my teens that went on for a good year and involved some very complex alternate realities. People dismissed my resulting behavior as: 

"oh, he's just weird" or 

"oh, he's just excentric" or 

"oh, he's just making that up for a reason to act strange.) 

The thing is, at work, before medication therapy, my mania came with a bloodlust for arguing with upper management. Including shouting arguments with a former Store Manager (I survived that because he actually respected me for standing up for myself! Welcome to the politics of manhood, hehe.) 

So, I'm in a 24-year rut and I want the fuck out! I've even considered going off meds. 

I've heard that a large number of actors and musicians (and artists of all types) have bipolar disorder. 

Having an inability to exceed at "normal" things, like the "average normal" person, tends to push one towards places where they can fit in. "The Land of the Misfit Toys" from that stop motion Rudolph movie by Rankin Bass, who turned the cartoon version of "Return of the King" into a freaking musical! 

And since this creativity is fueled by the disorder, the last thing they want to do is control it with meds. Often describes as a "chemical straight jacket" it turns out, by personal experience, exactly that. 

As Jeffery Goines says in the Terry Gilliam film "12 Monkeys" . . .

"Fuck the Bozos!"

"Give sanity a longer leash. But some of us have sharper teeth! In Love's Secret Domain. -- words John Balance --Music Peter Christopherson (may their human mind-self-souls continue on the journey of their own choosing. Perhaps together again.

"Give sanity a longer leash. 

But some of us have sharper teeth! 

In Love's Secret Domain." 

by Coil 

-- words John Balance 

--Music Peter Christopherson 

(may their human mind-self-souls continue on the journey of their own choosing. Perhaps together again.)

Coil

Etymology of Haggard

What does the name Haggard mean?

The history of the ancestors of the Haggard family begins among the Pictish clans ancient Scotland. The name Haggard comes from the Gaelic form Mac-an-t-sagairt, which means son of the priest. Patronymic names often substituted the name of a saint or other revered religious figure in place of a devout bearer's actual father. However, the patronym Haggard often denotes actual paternity in this case, since the marriage of clerics in minor orders was permissible, although the marriage of priests was declared illegal and invalid during the 12th century.

The etymology of the name is much in debate. One source notes the "family are supposed to be derived from the Ogards of co. Hertfordshire." or the name "Haggard is a corruption of "hay-garth," a rick yard, and is so employed in Hall and Holinshed, as well as in several provincial dialects, but most probably, an ancient baptismal name which occurs in Domesday as Acard and Acardus." 1

Pastor Gibbs on Myths about Heaven

"WF" Video and Podcast : "Are Humans the First Civilization on Earth?"

(I've been throwing these ideas around since I was a kid [always an introvert partially handicapped by a wasted IQ] and most people look at me like I'm crazy. I don't think this falls into "conspiracy theories." It's much more like speculative history, archeology, written and spoken mythology, and just sitting around thinking about random things.)

https://youtu.be/lASPp9stEYA?si=Y1__raFGigzIMctK

Before Abraham Was, I AM

 John 8:48-59

New King James Version

Before Abraham Was, I AM

48 Then the Jews answered and said to Him, “Do we not say rightly that You are a Samaritan and have a demon?”

49 Jesus answered, “I do not have a demon; but I honor My Father, and you dishonor Me. 50 And I do not seek My own glory; there is One who seeks and judges. 51 Most assuredly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death.”

52 Then the Jews said to Him, “Now we know that You have a demon! Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and You say, ‘If anyone keeps My word he shall never taste death.’ 53 Are You greater than our father Abraham, who is dead? And the prophets are dead. Who do You make Yourself out to be?”

54 Jesus answered, “If I honor Myself, My honor is nothing. It is My Father who honors Me, of whom you say that He is [a]your God. 55 Yet you have not known Him, but I know Him. And if I say, ‘I do not know Him,’ I shall be a liar like you; but I do know Him and keep His word. 56 Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day, and he saw it and was glad.”

57 Then the Jews said to Him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have You seen Abraham?”

58 Jesus said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM.”

59 Then they took up stones to throw at Him; but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple, going[b] through the midst of them, and so passed by.

There is no Sanctuary. And there is no past, and no future.

 Time is NOT a direction, NOT back and forth, it's a "state." 

That would be like saying, "I would really like to go back in past milk," a completely nonsensical statement. There is milk now that is fresh. Milk now that is cold, and milk now that is lukewarm. These are all states of milk but traveling between fresh and cold to lukewarm milk is just as ridiculous. Because the universe is constantly in one state or other, flux, expansion reduction, hot cold bright dark. But the universe is never 12:20 am Central standard time in Waco Texas. And it's never 1971 AD. 


All states of now can be guessed at on a universal level. In human history states of time can be relayed by text and even the words of those now gone.


But it will never be "then" or "in the past," "then" is gone, "then" no longer exists. It will never be a forward "then" in the future. The future doesn't and never will "exist." 


Now is now is now and to imagine, discuss, write, or make a film about otherwise, is now's "proposed" past, or now's "proposed" future. We can only really know now, and now, and now. But there is no other "now" to travel to. 

There is only constantly immediately changing states of matter and energy. And nothing ever "was," and nothing ever "will be."

The Secret Name

 I am Acardus. Of Tulsi. Under the Tulasi Tree.

Many fell upon the Trail of Tears. On the way to Tulsi. Many a mighty warrior, and many a mother and her children. Some of them I knew.

"Never truck with the white man," they said. And the red rivers showed it true, blood from the earth, and sky.

Energy, Frequency, and Vibration rule the physics of the universe. Macro and Micro. Atomic and Sub Atomic. And in these terms, the three become the two. Duality. Dualism. 

Out of me comes Gabriel.

Out of me comes Raphael.

The Harp.

The Dagger.

Die.

Drag.

Dig... and then Bury.

The Tin Master and the Small

The Fruit and the Pain

Slavery the Bond

(Arnold became a satan. Turned out the coat.)

Graph this chart, and in it youl find both;

The Keys to Heaven,

And,

The Keys to Hell.

White matter. Dark matter.

Both are necessary.

Dualism concrete.

The Trinity of light.

And the Trinity of the darkness.

In the light;

God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

In the darkness;

Satan The Father, The Prince of Darkness The Son, and the Great Dragon Leviathan, he who lies in the depths of the Abyss (dead, but dreaming), the Spirit of Darkness.

All hail morning, all hail the setting of the sun

All hail the twilight when the two worlds are one

All hail night, and all hail the dawn.

All in equal parts. The two Trinities as one.

Held FAST by THE ONE. The seventh sign of the seven signs. ATEN. The Prime Motivator. The Prime Mover. Before whom nothing existed. But when he was born, the power from the crack of the egg sent forth energy and matter into Infinity. 

Though Infinity can be described as finite at its edge, after which nothing exists, it is still nearly beyond all human understanding.

All the Gods came from this singularity. They all burst forth his children from the womb.

Blessed be they who kneel before them all or choose one or some as their totem.

The sheep of heaven, also called the Sun.

The hounds of hell, also called Hades.

 Ma'at

peace and balance

Skinny Puppy "Worlock" (A View So Cruel Remix)

My remix of Skinny Puppy's "Worlock" from their album "Rabies" and single "Worlock"

Created in the mid 1990's using a crappy pc sampling program.

Because I had to cut and paste without a visual interface, by ear only, there are some very clumsy edit points that are a bit cringeworthy.

Maybe, one day, I'll redo this remix with modern equipment. . .

 https://youtu.be/ohmVTTcdCrY

Francis fried Bacon, Esquire

 

What in tarnation is going on here? I can't make head nor tail of the whole endeavor.

Further Drafts Upon Dualism by Philip Haggard Berry

Early Sketches Upon Dualism

No YHWH versus Satan, no Prince of Peace verses the Prince of Darkness

The Travels of the Mind-Self-Soul

Last update June 24 2025

"Pure Evil is when flowers sing." 

--John Balance of Coil 

inspired by the work of Arthur Machen

 who, in one short story, 

was attempting to explain his idea 

of what true "evil," 

independent of human beings, is.

The "Triad," the three main dimensions, as well as the three systems of "self" (aka the "soul"). 

This human "soul" is not equal with the dualistic "gods" thus there is no "Triadism"

This human World aka Dimension is not equal with the Light and the Dark worlds / Dimensions.

(Although the possibility of a third religious dimension exists with the idea of "Purgatory" aka "Limbo.")

The "third" self in religious duality is the human self/soul.

Dualism simply means: two different things, ideas, phenomena. 

And only two "different" Gods "only" in the sense that they "differ" from one another, not that they are opposed, or Good versus Evil.

Dualism in the religious sense does not necessarily mean Good versus Evil. 

It does not necessarily mean there is a Good God and an Evil God.

Dualism in the religious sense simply means there are two Gods: one associated with Light, the other associated with Dark. There is nothing inherently "good" in the light, and there is nothing inherently "evil" in the dark.

Evil: Definition: Evil is when 1 or more human being(s) purposefully inflicts harm (of any kind) to 1 or more other humans. 

This was a necessity for the survival of the DNA of the winning tribe, and therefore, while having all the hallmarks of it, was not yet Evil on its own. Gradually, there was a graduation from enjoying the immediate torture and other horrors as part of the celebration of victory. For some, and eventually many on into the future to consume entire countries, this bloodlust became something which consumed human beings independent of any fighting or victory. Torture and bloodlust became a thing of psychological value in and of itself.  It is physical capture, psychological torment, torture murder and killing for no reason but to satisfy the bloodlust which the Evil doers used to only get from victory over a competing or waring tribe. This is the only true evil in the universe. 

And so arises the question; what is "supernatural" "spiritual" Evil if true evil was created by the human brain.

1: human evil is well known to any human alive.

2: there is no supernatural evil which arises from the dark mirror image of the two equal yet opposite Cosmological Gods.

And yet, many tens of thousands of people have experienced what they call "true evil" in the form of "supernatural evil." This does not exist, at least not in any way shape or form like human evil.

Supernatural evil, if one is predisposed to such beliefs, is created by the spirit, ghost, haunt, of a "human soul" which often tricks the tormented and haunted into believing they are demons who worship "Satan" as the "Dark Lord of Hell." Hell being a burning place where human souls are tortured and tormented for their "sins" for all eternity. It's merely the invention of the human haunt.

No minions of the dark side of the twin mirrored gods pursue such vile and "physically oriented" things.

The "idea" of "supernatural evil" is something quite different. It is simply the continuation of the human mind (or "soul") which chooses to remain in the same state it existed in while alive. Being the dark side of the mirror image, there is the opposite of the light only in that the Human Mind ("Soul") has taken a step back from the world / universe as we know it. A place of order and a higher "reality." The human minds-souls become "almost" shadows of themselves, also known as "Shades." And the Greek dark underworld of Hades (the God and the Place) is where the human mind is welcome and it's continuation of self "loved." This is "supernatural evil" the term only means that it is the opposite of the light side of the mirrored god twins. And its experience is as mind-blowing as any meditation. It is known as "Holy Evil." Something Christians, and many other good vs. evil religions have an extraordinarily difficult time comprehending. The Dark side of the twins god is not dark in the sense that human evil is dark. It is only dark in the sense that is the opposite of light. One step back away from Earth.

On the flip side; there is no "Good" inherent in the light side of the split deity. Good is another human creation, a human construction or construct.

It the light the human mind-self-soul has take a step up into a higher realm of reality. And is welcomed as much for it's decision of an "after-life" as Hades welcomes the Shades.

The Christians, and many religions before them, and after them, have a set-in-stone belief that the light is "The One True God" and that he is the "only savior, the "only" redeemer. That the earth is created by him in his image and we must kneel and grovel and pray to "his" everlasting "Good." But this is a spit in the face of true Holy Light and the true Spiritual light side of the mirrored Gods. "Heaven" welcomes the human mind-self-soul as open armed as Hades. In heaven, in the light, there is obviously a difference from taking a step back into a dreamy world of half light and shadows, and taking a step forward into the bright and hyper-reality of the light side of the mirrored gods.

Once again, as was the case with "True Evil" being a human construct. So is "True Good" which humans define as the light and love and oneness with all human beings. And yet in its hidden aspect, it is similar to it's twin, Evil. In the name of God millions have died. Tortured in thousands of ways, murdered, imprisoned, left to drift into insanity. Only the righteous and those who confess their sins and bow to the almighty god, the holy trinity of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, only they will be accepted into heaven, and only if they "deserve" it. Everyone else is cast into the burning pit of "Hell." How is this different from human "Evil." They are twins. Human created deformities. Riches and damnations in the name of "Jesus" who's main teaching was "love and forgiveness." 

How many people have the Christian Churches, and their religious counterparts, destroyed in the name of "Good?" This "human good" is just as twisted and vile as "human evil." Just another reason to satisfy the age old bloodlust. 

Infantile malformed human beings are the true angels and devils. But only in the sense that both of those "arch enemies" destroy what they take delight in destroying.

[Draft to continue]

 

Gloria ad draco et omnis legio diabolic

What is Heavenly dragon?

The Two Heavenly Dragons (二天龍, Nitenryū) are Dragons with powers that can kill both Gods and Satans, and are considered to be one of the highest class of Dragons. The two Heavenly Dragons are the Red Dragon Emperor, Ddraig, and the White Dragon Emperor, Albion.

William Blake : "The Sick Rose" (Long lost missing 3rd third and 4th fourth stanzas)

William Blake : "The Sick Rose"

(Long lost missing 3rd and 4th stanzas)

O Rose, thou art sick;
The invisible worm
That flies in the night
Through the howling storm:
 
Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy;
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.
 
But in passages deep,
Neath earthen sky
All things come to rot
Maggots to Fly:
 
And so in decay
The worm finds it's way;
And his darkness at last
Finds it's red day.

Who's that?

43 minutes past my bedtime. Eve of the total eclipse here in Austin. 

Of course, it's going to freakin' rain all day tomorrow, so when 1:36 PM rolls around and I have my eclipse glasses already it's probably just going to get really dark, and we won't be able to see the moon and sun lining up.

Ah well, it'll probably happen again right here over Austin. . . in about 5,000 years!

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, a really rushed and unprofessional facial impersonation of Ming the Merciless just before he goes to bed. . . late.

Jack Zavada : Jesus Drives the Money Changers from the Temple

This article, in its entirety, is the work of the author stated below. I have not added or taken away anything from the webpage it is published on.

THE AUTHOR;

Jack Zavada

Christianity Expert

M.A., English Composition, Illinois State University

B.S., English Literature, Illinois State University

Jack Zavada is a writer who covers the Bible, theology, and other Christianity topics. He is the author "Hope for Hurting Singles: A Christian Guide to Overcoming Life's Challenges."

THE WEBPAGE;

https://www.learnreligions.com/jesus-clears-the-temple-bible-story-700066

Jesus and the Money Changers Story Summary

Jesus Christ and his disciples journeyed to Jerusalem to celebrate the feast of Passover. They found the sacred city of God overflowing with thousands of pilgrims from all parts of the world.

Entering the Temple, Jesus saw the money changers, along with merchants who were selling animals for sacrifice. Pilgrims carried coins from their hometowns, most bearing the images of Roman emperors or Greek gods, which Temple authorities considered idolatrous.

The high priest ordered that only Tyrian shekels would be accepted for the annual half-shekel Temple tax because they contained a higher percentage of silver, so the money changers exchanged unacceptable coins for these shekels. Of course, they extracted a profit, sometimes much more than the law allowed.

Accounts of Jesus driving the money changers from the Temple are found in Matthew 21:12-13; Mark 11:15-18; Luke 19:45-46; and John 2:13-17.

Jesus and the Money Changers Story Summary

Jesus Christ and his disciples journeyed to Jerusalem to celebrate the feast of Passover. They found the sacred city of God overflowing with thousands of pilgrims from all parts of the world.

Entering the Temple, Jesus saw the money changers, along with merchants who were selling animals for sacrifice. Pilgrims carried coins from their hometowns, most bearing the images of Roman emperors or Greek gods, which Temple authorities considered idolatrous.

The high priest ordered that only Tyrian shekels would be accepted for the annual half-shekel Temple tax because they contained a higher percentage of silver, so the money changers exchanged unacceptable coins for these shekels. Of course, they extracted a profit, sometimes much more than the law allowed.

Jesus was so filled with anger at the desecration of the holy place that he took some cords and wove them into a small whip. He ran about, knocking over the tables of the money changers, and spilling coins on the ground. He drove the exchangers out of the area, along with the men selling pigeons and cattle. He also prevented people from using the court as a shortcut.

As he cleansed the Temple of greed and profit, Jesus quoted from Isaiah 56:7: "My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you make it a den of robbers." (Matthew 21:13, ESV)

The disciples and others present were in awe of Jesus' authority in God's sacred place. His followers remembered a passage from Psalm 69:9: "Zeal for your house will consume me." (John 2:17, ESV)

The common people were impressed by Jesus' teaching, but the chief priests and scribes feared him because of his popularity. They began to plot a way to destroy Jesus.

Points of Interest

Jesus drove out the money changers from the Temple on Monday of Passion Week, just three days before the Passover and four days before his crucifixion.

Bible scholars think this incident happened at Solomon's Porch, the outermost part on the east side of the Temple. Archaeologists have found a Greek inscription dated to 20 B.C. from the Court of the Gentiles, which warns non-Jews not to go any further into the Temple, on fear of death.

The high priest received a percentage of the profit from the money changers and merchants, so their removal from the Temple precinct would have caused a financial loss to him. Because pilgrims were unfamiliar with Jerusalem, the Temple merchants sold sacrificial animals at a higher price than elsewhere in the city. The high priest overlooked their dishonesty, as long as he got his share.

Beside his anger at the money changers' greed, Jesus hated the noise and commotion in the court, which would have made it impossible for devout Gentiles to pray there.

About 40 years from the time Jesus cleansed the Temple, the Romans would invade Jerusalem during an uprising and level the building completely. It would never be rebuilt. Today on its location on the Temple Mount stands the Dome of the Rock, a Muslim mosque.

The Gospels tell us that Jesus Christ was ushering in a new covenant with humanity, in which animal sacrifice would end, replaced by the perfect sacrifice of his life on the cross, atoning for human sin once and for all.

Key Bible Verse

Mark 11:15–17

When they arrived back in Jerusalem, Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out the people buying and selling animals for sacrifices. He knocked over the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves, and he stopped everyone from using the Temple as a marketplace. He said to them, “The Scriptures declare, ‘My Temple will be called a house of prayer for all nations,’ but you have turned it into a den of thieves.” (NLT)